Depressed

Almost every morning and evening I need to listen to a session of lecture.

Sometimes:

"When you want to learn driving? You cannot always depend on other people. You must learn to drive. Sometimes later, I will be old, who is going to fetch you to work?"

Sometimes:

"The dog is very smelly. Please ask your mum to bath her everyday. If not ask her to give away. Very dirty. Lots of ticks. Pee around the house. Very smelly. Your brother, he has difficulty in breathing ever since the dog is in the house. You cannot be so selfish, you must take care of your brother."

The last sentence that he said, I really cannot take it. Why I was the one who is selfish? I never said I wanted the dog. I have already said I don't want the dog before it arrived. Why is it my fault?

There were many other things that he said that I do not want to mention here.

I just don't understand why am I always the one who needs to listen to him? Why he can't tell the person right at the face? Why always I have to be the middle man? At work already need to see peoples' faces. At home also need to see peoples' faces. Why?

Probably the reason I die will be due to depression.

What happened recently?

On the 27th of November, I went to Sungai Petani, Kedah for computer fair. Early morning have to wake up for a long journey. Need to work till late nights only get to go back to the hotel. I came back on the 30th of November, straight to the office. So tiring, and next morning still need to work.

On the 5th of December, I need to work for KL PC fair until 6th of December. So tiring, and next morning still need to work.

Work, work, work. I want to rest. Lucky that, on the 11th of December, 18th of December, 25th of December and 1st of January is holidays. Though lots of holidays, but to me, I felt like I do not have enough rest. Probably over stress myself before the holidays.

On the 7th of December, my boy friend bought me a camera, Canon D450. So nice... hehe. Those pictures taken can only be uploaded in my Facebook, cause the file size is big, I am too lazy to upload it here.

On the 11th of December, my family and I went to Cameron Highlands. 1 day trip was fun.

On the 12th of December, my boy friend sort of celebrated birthday for me.

On the 13th of December, my mum bought me a watch. My dad took us for dinner.

On the 15th of December, my boy friend celebrated with me again during dinner time.

On the 16th of December, was my birthday, my colleagues celebrated with me in the office. So sweet... haha. My brother treat me dinner, then he say he is broke.

That's all till here.

1 Year Anniversary

Today is 19th of November, 2009. What is so special about it? Well, on the 19th of November, 2008 was the day I did spine surgery. Time just past silently. I still remember every moment of that day, those excited feelings, so hard to describe.

Titanium rods and titanium screws are inside my body for a year now and will stays forever in my spine.

I actually feel proud of myself. I think I am like a super girl, having an abnormal structure.

A Letter to My Blog

Dear Blog,

I just realized that almost a month I did not update "you". The whole month was like living in hell. Haihz. Even weekends couldn't enjoy, due to work stuff.

Nowadays I have to sit in the technical room. This means I’m totally in technical now. It's a good thing but at the same time, it's bad too.

Good things were due to, my previous tasks were in logistics (I have to pack stocks everyday with a Titanium rod and 13 Titanium screws in my spine, do you know how difficult was that?). At the same time, I was also in technical department. Oh ya, and also sort of doing indoor sales (without commission). There were also documentations that I need to do. Now, I don't have to be multi-tasking, doing few positions' jobs at the same time. Bad thing is, I don't really like this job. I understand all jobs have its pressure. But now, this job is definitely insane for me.

Just because I came in as intern and started in the technical side, so now I end up being a Sales Support Engineer. Sounds cool, but pressure.

Besides that, last time in technical, I feel like we were a team. But after "old people" left and "new people" came, things changed. I felt like I'm alone in this jungle.

What should I do?

Holiday?

When can I go for a long holiday?

Where can I go for a long holiday?

I am tired of working. I am tired of staying at home. I need a break.

I have a dream. I wish to go around the world. Probably it could only be a dream. So I want to plan for a holiday at least once in a year. Not too much right?

最恨借钱不还的人

我开始明白为什么 "Ah Long" 非得用肮脏与残忍的手法去对付那些借钱不还的人。虽然我不认同他们的做法，但我也一样不认同借钱不还的人。

自己辛苦赚回来的钱，谁有资格去用除了自己？

人家好心借给你不代表你可以利用他的“好心”而不需要还。

很生气不是完全为了钱，大部分是因为看在他是我的亲戚份上而且也答应一定会在短期内还，我相信他所以我借。到了该还的当天，他竟然连电话都关掉，无法找到他。我觉得很失望，很生气。

既然不能逾期归还,就请不要顺口开河。出尔反尔会让我对你的信任毁灭及彻底失望。

Hari Raya Holiday

Saturday, went back to Sitiawan. We have been through breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner. We rushed back on Sunday after lunch because I need to attend a wedding dinner.

Sunday night went to a couple's wedding. They were my secondary school friends, a year older than me. The food was ok, not bad. That night was like a school gathering. It was fun, I guess everyone enjoys it. Me either. Most of them look so different but character still the same.

Monday went dating with my boy friend. We went for breakfast. We watched G-Force, quite funny and those guinea pigs were so cute. We ate lunch and walk around.

Tuesday, we went for breakfast then we bought gold paint to paint my grandpa’s and aunt’s grave. After that we took lunch. Then came home and watched drama. Dinner at grandma's house.

I miss my long weekend...